I know what happened darkened the days that had you excited,
I know that, like bruises, it left blue-black marks on your life —
BP oil spill cruises.
You know that these words will never be enough to leave our fences mended,
You know that in this internecine battle I’m destined to be the one that loses.
I shall, however, wish for your peace of mind; whether I find mine is best left to guesses,
I have made my bed and with it so many mistakes, missing takes in my life dotted with scenic stretches,
Only now, looking back at my route, do I see the Should-Have path that could have guaranteed my — our — safe passage,
And with this 20/20 clarity I can certainly attest to having lost the test of matching your courage,
I am sorry I could not save you from myself darling; sorry that I cowardly fled with the horses for our carriage.
I lost you by seeking out my devil,
And find you in memory by realising your angel halo.
See me now on bended knee, with an overdue apology,
Though you may never deem me fit to be Yours in perpetuity,
Evans Mbora Campbell
Lover and Destroyer.