He wonders if it’s possible that he’s just too emotional for this world,
if it is indeed impossible for him to just fit in and cope like an adult!
Apparently his level of sentiment irks some and they wish to see him just chill,
But quite lost is he and all he can feel is the cold that she has left here, it’s real.
He looks around and just wonders if there’s anything in the world he could do to make her see how much she MEANS to him,
He knows he should say “meant” but for him, it was just so real he can’t fathom the thought of it being over,
Not before it began, not before she ever got to call him her lover!
Not before romantic songs they sang under the sun, set in a beautiful place called Us where the parties present were just that,
He can’t even hate the girl for her “transgression”, he just wants to deal but can’t,
He knows it’s wrong to be so wound up by it all, yet sees no relief for this mess he’s in, he can’t see how he wouldn’t have been enchanted,
He can’t see how he should have just known she wouldn’t truly feel as he did!
He can’t understand how she could take back all he thought she did with verisimilitude,
Doesn’t understand how such reciprocity could be a mere attitude,
Particularly one subject to vicissitude!
He is his greatest weakness,
And his most indomitable strength,
Yet he feels the weight of this event, and his knees are bent,
He refuses to fall to the ground, but knows that if he doesn’t find it within himself not to, he’ll eventually lay there, wasted and spent!
He feels so helpless now, and it’s WRONG,
He shouldn’t have to suffer so much hurt from realising that she didn’t feel the same way about him, shouldn’t be so forlorn!
Yet he is, he should be grateful she’s gone, but is not,
It can’t be! He made the recently-turned-heart-renching error of letting her in, let her leave the light of romantic hope on,
And she left it to burn alone on one side of this room meant for two, too much in the face of the darkness it is to exclude,
How she has him so far from himself removed by her exit is something he would wish not upon anyone that shall have to face the disappointment that followed from a realisation such as hers – so chilling and cruel,
The reality that was her absence masked by a seemingly strong presence should never be the fate of anyone being bottom-of-their-heart genuine!
He’s heard many a man and woman say that none should command such power over one’s heart,
Yet he watched the same many fall into the very same ” trap”, which leads him to believe, “So much for THAT”
What I’m driving at with the story of this chap –
is the fact that matters as unpredictable as those of the heart, are unintelligible to simple men and women like us,
They have no prescribed drug or quick fix once they run amok, forget all the “Dr. Loves” and would-be experts,
When it hurts, it just does, and sometimes though time may heal the wound, it has no remedy for the scars!
Each is unique to the bearer, each took its own time to show up,
And that simply implies, that we all deal with these situations the best we can,
even when at times there is nowhere to run and the wounds only continue to fester, throb and burn.
Even then, while it is not that on ourselves our backs we turn, we simply can’t as easily overcome what we felt for The (injurious) One,
Not as fast as we hope, not by finding someone else to grope!
For when your eyes find the prize they were set on but couldn’t see until thee, they never want to look away, all others rendered unworthy!
“The One” supersedes all other sources of “fun”, trysts and one-night stands vituperative to all the romance for which a pursuit of her demands!
But distinctly, The (injurious) One is absent when it is their turn,
They are there to have you learn!
They see things not in the same hopeful,believing way that you do; you are but a channel to their previous experience with flames that burnt,
They are sub-consciously detached from all that you believe is a beautiful dance, outside wandering and wondering if they’re really supposed to be holding your hands and accepting your poetic chants,
Unwilling to drop their past and seek renewal in a future that you are willing to commit to with an open heart,
They are, by definition, stuck between a rock and a hard place, juggling a heart and playing Catch-Up is two difficult,
So they choose to have none at all in hand, that with a clear conscience they may depart-
And with that clear conscience, live with the shatter of their presumed partner’s dream of being one at last…
Probably never to return, though the hope that they shall remains alive: whether for life or for a moment short-lived –
is a timing only the burnt can give,
But the truth that remains unwavering despite the ordeal,
Is that they came, they saw, and they walked out before they could even settle in,
And that’s what (nearly) kills the patient in their treatment rather ill…
However, the reality so harsh that it justifies these acts,
is that of the REAL world we live in, that which reminds us that for only so long can we dream-
that which shows that being “Yours in perpetuity”,
Goes beyond being Mbora Evans or for anyone else, ME.
So, Yours in perpetuity,
(if you’ll take me)
Evans Mbora Campbell.