… I can tell what’s dead beyond these walls,
Simply because what’s within them can barely crawl and wouldn’t last a one-blow brawl!
… I can see, that I’m hopelessly maladroit, an idiot, a half-wit, missing the point,
But I’m still as convinced as a priest on a pulpit,
…I can hear the storms raging, foreboding as the thunder claps are, I clasp my hands together encouraging,
While unaware that I’m actually only dreaming and the bolts of lightning, the thunder crackling, is all but a sign of the inner state I’m in!
…I know I’m lost to you, and you too are lost to me as the moon is to us all at noon,
But I grasp onto a straw, my hands so worn nothing remains but a shadow of a cat’s paw, yet, to give up, I refuse!
I’m better off fighting and groping, writhing and griping, if only a part of you shall remain to see another journey ensue!
What is it that you do, how effortlessly you cause me to swoon, and I’m left at your mercy, smiling in the gloom,
The darkness that is this lost love is the only light I see, yet the irony of such a reality is inexpressible, even through caricatures and cartoons!
…I smell hell in all its decadence, I’m bound to be hunted down by the hounds I only know of as regrets!
I can trust not this shell I have built, held together only by rivets and welds… In the heat of their bated breaths I shall surely melt!
I find myself unable to extricate myself, nimble no more, I am but a prisoner of my own indecision, lost and forever falling, all because of what I have felt,
Am I to live for a better day, one in which I can stand gay, smiling all the way for having finally been lifted from where I once knelt impeded? (begged and pleaded?)
…I ponder death, with all the enigma and mystery that it is shrouded with, is it really the final breath?
Shall I be forever from this earth cleft, and you my deepest lapse of judgement be left to live out a harmonious life all by yourself?
Or shall the vice versa happen and leave me underfoot bereavement, trapped and remorseful for all my failures, each and every event,
Shall the advent of a new dawn make me forget all that was once wrong between us, am I really meant to see beyond the problems to live with them in the present?
…I’m sure I can never really know, so I shall set forth to learn the true meaning of all that has happened!
…I can tell I must have been the cause of such a devastating mess, a state of affairs by far the saddest I have ever witnessed.
For all that and more, I apologise fairest,
My life and yours are foes at best,
Our times together we must lay to rest,
Nothing can come of what we had without being our ultimate test.
Yours, once but not to be in perpetuity,
Evans Mbora Campbell.
Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.