Now that I think about it…

… I wish I’d have stopped to reconsider my entire course of action,
I wish I’d have taken the time to separate myself from all that I have become out of affection!
For I now profligate all faculties of reason afforded to me, just to enjoy affectation!
Have I really become so desperate for one’s attention?
Must I pursue this sentient being, this heaven-sent gift, though it has become my greatest affliction?!

The answer’s no, my own urge to live in the moment is exaggerated ,
And I hereby choose to step on it’s slithering tail, that I may cut off its serpentine head!
When I look back to a time before all this insanity , I’m deeply saddened by how, my self, I have mislead,
But given the fact that I have been confronted, even by close friends,
And objectively questioned for my actions, those that I have come to certainly dread,
I am certain that out of all my efforts henceforth, only progress can be intended and made if I am to recover from these regrets!

I fell,
In truth, we all do severally before our death knell,
But I would only be a fool to ignore all the stories that my mistakes can tell,
I would have to defy all the short-term glory and joy I seek to become a better man, that this facade I may dispel,
And to do that I must choose to forget all that I have felt, at least until, with myself, I have dealt!

…I saw all this and more coming,
But I became too lax and here I am, my performance and persona slumping,
And all because I gave myself a break of which I was undeserving,
Now I must live with the consequences of my ropes slackening,
Pick myself up and face what’s happening,
Or end up worse than I got here, and alone with nothing!

… I caused all this,
I let it get to me until it gave me no peace,
I let it bring me to my knees, servitude I gave my affectivity without consideration of logic! I refused to cease!
But now, now, I MUST accomplish this mission to set my mind at ease,
And I must gather my thoughts and their equal or opposite sentiments to return to a state of equipoise!

…I can deal with this, and I will, at least,
Find a solution as I realise better ways to achieve release.

But for now, goodbye to all that made me this addled beast,
I have departed and detached myself from this deranged place where I am oblivious to all risk!

…I’m not sure if I’m,
Yours in perpetuity, but in time,
I’ll be back to:
Evans Mbora Campbell.

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry®.

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